What are you expecting?

What are you expecting? Our expectations play a large part in what we receive in life. How can we frame our expectations so they work for us and help us get what we need?

As a survivor of abuse, I had a negative outlook to life. I believed people would hate me if they knew my past. I was certain God had something against me. He had to. Why else had He permitted my father to molest me? I hid my real desires from God for fear that God would put a roadblock in my path. I figured there were some fortunate people God liked and I was not one of them. So, why would He want to answer my prayers? I expected nothing from God and received what I expected.

Expectations play a part in our perceptions of how we think God answers prayers. Initially I expected God to answer my prayers the exact way I wanted. I was like a child having a tantrum, wanting my way NOW! If I didn’t get what I wanted, when I wanted, I stamped my feet, turned away and screamed at God, “You don’t love me.”

I can’t tell you how many times my kids have screamed those words at me. I must have been the worst parent – I made them eat vegetables, do their homework, and act responsibly. Sometimes they had to wait and work for the things they wanted. They survived the minor disappointments I provided. A parent sees the big picture, but kids focus on immediate gratification.

By focusing on what I perceived as God’s neglect, I never noticed what God was doing in my life and how much He was there helping me. Gratitude and looking at what God has done in the past can change our expectations which, in turn, changes our responses and actions.

Instead of rose-colored glasses, I viewed my world through abuse colored lenses. Anything that seemed to delay my perceived needs, I felt was neglect. The way I wanted God to work would have kept me a victim for a longer time. God forced me to try new things, different things, things that made me uncomfortable. Change seemed to be the enemy. It is insanity to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. Change must occur.

Does that mean that we can never have expectations when we speak with God? No. We are to pray, expecting. Our effective prayers line up with the truths of the Bible and mirror God’s best for us. Our actions will show that we have faith that God will answer.

In order to pray according to God’s will, we need to know what His will is. He wants us healed and whole. He wants us joyful. He wants us happily doing the work that will help others to learn about God and find freedom.

One thing that helps us wait is realizing how much God loves us. He is the perfect parent and His actions in our lives stem from a love that is beyond our understanding.  Bask in this love and know that He will continue blessing you, even in the tough times.

What are you expecting?
Do you need to change your expectations?

I hope your day is blessed.


About Heather Marsten

Welcome to Heather's Blog. I'm looking forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. I just moved about nine years of material over from another blog site, Xanga, who may close down mid-July. At first I was disappointed to make the move because I had a lifetime membership at Xanga and had to spend weeks transferring posts. But now I'm thrilled. Already I've met new bloggers and read many new websites. Blogging is a wonderful way to expand my horizons and garner new ideas. I'm a happily married mom of three young adults. My husband and I are proud to watch our children grow and venture out into the world. My daughter is still in college but my two sons have graduated. One has a job and the other just graduated and is in the process of finding a job in his field, physics. Anyone know of any jobs out there? I'm proud of our children and love watching them grow and mature. They've become fine, compassionate, and loving people. Empty nest? Nah, I'm too busy to let an empty nest bother me. Not enough hours in the day. My husband and I enjoy quiet time together and I have many interests to pursue - one of which is blogging :D I am a born-again believer and love God. As you read this blog, you will discover that Bible studies thrill me. There is so much wisdom contained between the covers of the Bible and I am fortunate to sit under the teachings of a remarkable pastor, Pastor Don Moore. Members of our church (Living Word Chapel in West Hurley, New York) are encouraged to teach and there are visiting pastors who stop by our church, I also study the Bible on my own and love sharing what I learn. One other passion is writing. My current work in process is a memoir. A scene from my memoir was published in a book called: Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware - an anthology of angelic encounters compiled by Cecil Murphy. I'm hoping my memoir will encourage other survivors of abuse. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, including incest. For most of my life I was searching for something that would fill the void of not being loved by my parents. I tried many ways to find that love -- therapy, relationships, occult studies, and keeping my life so filled I had no way to think about my past. It was only when I discovered God that I was able to put the pieces of my life back together and walk forward in a joyous life. My nickname - wondering has changed from wondering where the heck God was in my life, to wondering what incredible adventure is going to happen next. I hope you enjoy my site. Please say hi, share some thoughts, and ask questions. I look forward to meeting you and checking out your sites. Have a blessed day. Heather
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2 Responses to What are you expecting?

  1. Deborah says:

    “I expected nothing from God and received what I expected.”
    We need to expand our expectations according to the Word of God.
    It is the whole truth, teaching us how much our Father in Heaven loves us.
    When we know that, our expectations as His kids really do expand!
    Thanks for this post.

  2. Deborah, I’m so glad you visited here :). You have such insightful comments. I used to think that the Bible was a book of don’ts until I explored and found the wonderful promises between its covers. Have you ever read Charles Capps? He also speaks of speaking the promises. Using God’s words helped me to heal. I look forward to learning from you on your site as well.
    Have a blessed day.

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